elastic truth for these plastic days

This is an unedited interview piece that I wrote for a cosmetic surgery publication.

How do you feel about cosmetic surgery?

Influences from the mass media i.e. Hollywood and the way people around us seemingly embrace beautiful form over badly-presented substance has reinforced society’s perception that physical superficiality will get us far if not just somewhere in life. Cosmetic surgery provides an easy avenue for people to enhance their self-confidence when they look and feel better about themselves in the company of others. In today’s fast-paced world, it is not a question of whether it is right or wrong to subject ourselves to how people would inevitably judge us based on how we look; it is rather, a question of choice. Society has always been predisposed to judging people by their appearances. For instance, when two persons with similar qualifications walk in for a job interview, the one with a better physical self-presentation would almost certainly leave with a better first impression and thus, a brighter prospect of scoring the job; Or when we are in a social setting e.g. club, party, shopping malls most of us tend to pay more attention to good-looking people around us. If someone was so inclined as to willingly subject themselves to cosmetic surgery to gain that extra edge in life, he/she should not be judged waywardly. Everyone has played a part in maintaining and spreading this culture of placing high value on superficiality.

In the absence of unnecessary risk and long term physical or emotional consequences, I believe due respect should be accorded to people using cosmetic surgery to enhance the way they look and feel about themselves. It is the most basic application of the harm principle that is enshrined in our universal freedom of choice and expression. We have a right to choose and express ourselves as long as our actions do not infringe on the rights of others. We only live once after all; let’s live a beautiful life- literally. I am in no way discounting the fact that substance matters in life- but any intelligent person would be smart enough to know that appearance matters just as much.

What about minimally invasive procedures? i.e. botox, fillers, laser treatments, chemical peels?

Any form of cosmetic surgery, be it “minimal invasive” or “total reconstruction” is purely euphemistic as it underlines the same principle as to why women put on make-ups or modern men are grooming themselves in the name of metrosexuality; it is inherent among people to want to look good as it is fast becoming a global trend. To raise cosmetic surgery as an issue just because the end-product of a surgery is permanent compared to make-ups that could be washed off is a wanton attempt at living a houlier-than-thou life in denial. Most modern women would not leave their home without make-ups and guys are starting to spend hours in front of the mirror to make sure they look and smell good. It is unfair and simplistic for some people to point and wag their fingers when others have the audacity to go that extra mile with cosmetic surgery. People who abhor any form of cosmetic surgery should seriously reconsider dressing up in front of a mirror to look good or buying a big house or luxury car just to be able to feel good about flaunting themselves. Everyone has their insecurities one way or another thus no one should deem themselves any better than the rest.

Have you ever dated anyone who has had any cosmetic work done?

Yes. I had a girlfriend who went for a nose job while we were dating. In all fairness, I was of the opinion that she did not need a procedure as she was beautiful but she had felt otherwise and went ahead with the surgery. Her friends who realized later about her physical change began to wag their finger and labeled her as fake. As her boyfriend back then, I did not think that surgery made her fake, rather in all probability she appeared even more real than ever. Instead of living in denial and haunted by insecurity due to a certain physical attribute that she did not like, she confronted her fear to seek a better life. Some may view this as hedonistic; I saw it as her keeping it real.

How would you feel if your girlfriend/wife wanted cosmetic surgery?

No cosmetic surgery would change the way I would feel for my woman. Having a 36DD set of breasts would not turn her into Mother Theresa overnight although I don’t deny there is a possibility that she might turn into Holy Mary Mother of God in bed.

On a more serious note, I would think that there is some deep seated problem in the relationship if physical alteration would amount to any significant changes to the dynamics of my relationship with my girlfriend/wife. I would be very honest and sincere with my girlfriend/wife and let her know that I love her for the person whom she is on the inside. I would not want her to change the way she looks because if I had wanted her to look any different, I would have dated/married someone else. In the end of the day, it is her body and if she is convinced that somehow she needs to undergo cosmetic surgery to improve her life, I would be more than happy to spend some meaningful time with her newly re-conditioned toys, I mean breasts.

Would you ‘buy’ your girlfriend/wife a cosmetic surgery procedure? For example birthday present, anniversary present, no particular occasion?

I would buy her a cosmetic surgery on two conditions. One, she has to convince me that it is something that she really needs to make her feel better about life. Second, I have the final say as to how she would look like in the end, seeing as I would be paying and will be the one who has to live with her after the surgery.

Would you dump someone after dating for a while or after marriage if you found out they have had some cosmetic procedure done in the past? How would you feel about this?

No. I think people put too much emphasis on physical attraction in relationships. I do not deny that physical attraction matters in the initial stages of a courtship but in the end of the day, it is who that person really is on the inside that should matter. If I did not know that my girlfriend/wife had undergone cosmetic surgery when I met her but still had grown to love her for the person that she was, I do not see how it would matter if I discover now that she did indeed look like a car crash in the past. It is not as though she had lied to me- it is just that she had never told me until now, no? I always try to be optimistic with things, life seems better that way.

Might you consider having some cosmetic work done someday? If so, like what?

When I was younger, I used to harbor thoughts of removing a small mole on my chin that I thought had been the barrier that kept away all my Abercrombie & Fitch modeling contracts. As I dated more women, quite a few of them actually thought the mole had character plus sex appeal and wanted me to keep it while the rest offered to pay for my laser removal treatment. Now that I am all grown up, a tad wiser and more comfortable with myself- I know for certain that I can not and should not try to make everyone happy. So everyone can go to hell- I am very happy with the way I look now and definitely would not change it just for the sake of conforming to some skewed benchmark of good looks set by global fashion conglomerates that push forth starving, stick-thin, walking dead models as their epitome of beauty. My mole defines me. If A&F can’t see that, they can suck my balls, I am going home.

What do you think of women (or men) who lie about having had any cosmetic work done?

It is a pity that women have to conceal something that should not be of issue at all if our society was more rational and not so narrow-minded. I support women who told white lies about their cosmetic surgery out of fear for the social persecutions that they would have to deal with by telling the truth. On the other hands, my utmost respect goes out to women who dare stand by and defend their decision to undergo cosmetic surgery. All in all, what does it say of a culture where to be sincere and truthful has become the radical gesture?

Do you think society judges an individual who would like to or has had cosmetic work done?

Yes, simply because to a certain extent most people have inferiority complex issue and would not think twice to bring down other people just to make themselves feel better. There is as much shame in going for cosmetic surgery as there is in buying an ugly looking Louis Vuitton handbag that cost RM15,000 just so other people would think of you any differently.

Do you think cosmetic surgery is fast becoming a trend that is acceptable?

Society is constantly evolving and people’s mindset are becoming more open and thus accepting towards all things that used to be unorthodox. In time we would come to respect other people’s personal choice and mind our own business as long as their actions do not impede on our rights and personal freedom.