elastic truth for these plastic days

This is an unedited interview piece that I wrote for a cosmetic surgery publication.

How do you feel about cosmetic surgery?

Influences from the mass media i.e. Hollywood and the way people around us seemingly embrace beautiful form over badly-presented substance has reinforced society’s perception that physical superficiality will get us far if not just somewhere in life. Cosmetic surgery provides an easy avenue for people to enhance their self-confidence when they look and feel better about themselves in the company of others. In today’s fast-paced world, it is not a question of whether it is right or wrong to subject ourselves to how people would inevitably judge us based on how we look; it is rather, a question of choice. Society has always been predisposed to judging people by their appearances. For instance, when two persons with similar qualifications walk in for a job interview, the one with a better physical self-presentation would almost certainly leave with a better first impression and thus, a brighter prospect of scoring the job; Or when we are in a social setting e.g. club, party, shopping malls most of us tend to pay more attention to good-looking people around us. If someone was so inclined as to willingly subject themselves to cosmetic surgery to gain that extra edge in life, he/she should not be judged waywardly. Everyone has played a part in maintaining and spreading this culture of placing high value on superficiality.

In the absence of unnecessary risk and long term physical or emotional consequences, I believe due respect should be accorded to people using cosmetic surgery to enhance the way they look and feel about themselves. It is the most basic application of the harm principle that is enshrined in our universal freedom of choice and expression. We have a right to choose and express ourselves as long as our actions do not infringe on the rights of others. We only live once after all; let’s live a beautiful life- literally. I am in no way discounting the fact that substance matters in life- but any intelligent person would be smart enough to know that appearance matters just as much.

What about minimally invasive procedures? i.e. botox, fillers, laser treatments, chemical peels?

Any form of cosmetic surgery, be it “minimal invasive” or “total reconstruction” is purely euphemistic as it underlines the same principle as to why women put on make-ups or modern men are grooming themselves in the name of metrosexuality; it is inherent among people to want to look good as it is fast becoming a global trend. To raise cosmetic surgery as an issue just because the end-product of a surgery is permanent compared to make-ups that could be washed off is a wanton attempt at living a houlier-than-thou life in denial. Most modern women would not leave their home without make-ups and guys are starting to spend hours in front of the mirror to make sure they look and smell good. It is unfair and simplistic for some people to point and wag their fingers when others have the audacity to go that extra mile with cosmetic surgery. People who abhor any form of cosmetic surgery should seriously reconsider dressing up in front of a mirror to look good or buying a big house or luxury car just to be able to feel good about flaunting themselves. Everyone has their insecurities one way or another thus no one should deem themselves any better than the rest.

Have you ever dated anyone who has had any cosmetic work done?

Yes. I had a girlfriend who went for a nose job while we were dating. In all fairness, I was of the opinion that she did not need a procedure as she was beautiful but she had felt otherwise and went ahead with the surgery. Her friends who realized later about her physical change began to wag their finger and labeled her as fake. As her boyfriend back then, I did not think that surgery made her fake, rather in all probability she appeared even more real than ever. Instead of living in denial and haunted by insecurity due to a certain physical attribute that she did not like, she confronted her fear to seek a better life. Some may view this as hedonistic; I saw it as her keeping it real.

How would you feel if your girlfriend/wife wanted cosmetic surgery?

No cosmetic surgery would change the way I would feel for my woman. Having a 36DD set of breasts would not turn her into Mother Theresa overnight although I don’t deny there is a possibility that she might turn into Holy Mary Mother of God in bed.

On a more serious note, I would think that there is some deep seated problem in the relationship if physical alteration would amount to any significant changes to the dynamics of my relationship with my girlfriend/wife. I would be very honest and sincere with my girlfriend/wife and let her know that I love her for the person whom she is on the inside. I would not want her to change the way she looks because if I had wanted her to look any different, I would have dated/married someone else. In the end of the day, it is her body and if she is convinced that somehow she needs to undergo cosmetic surgery to improve her life, I would be more than happy to spend some meaningful time with her newly re-conditioned toys, I mean breasts.

Would you ‘buy’ your girlfriend/wife a cosmetic surgery procedure? For example birthday present, anniversary present, no particular occasion?

I would buy her a cosmetic surgery on two conditions. One, she has to convince me that it is something that she really needs to make her feel better about life. Second, I have the final say as to how she would look like in the end, seeing as I would be paying and will be the one who has to live with her after the surgery.

Would you dump someone after dating for a while or after marriage if you found out they have had some cosmetic procedure done in the past? How would you feel about this?

No. I think people put too much emphasis on physical attraction in relationships. I do not deny that physical attraction matters in the initial stages of a courtship but in the end of the day, it is who that person really is on the inside that should matter. If I did not know that my girlfriend/wife had undergone cosmetic surgery when I met her but still had grown to love her for the person that she was, I do not see how it would matter if I discover now that she did indeed look like a car crash in the past. It is not as though she had lied to me- it is just that she had never told me until now, no? I always try to be optimistic with things, life seems better that way.

Might you consider having some cosmetic work done someday? If so, like what?

When I was younger, I used to harbor thoughts of removing a small mole on my chin that I thought had been the barrier that kept away all my Abercrombie & Fitch modeling contracts. As I dated more women, quite a few of them actually thought the mole had character plus sex appeal and wanted me to keep it while the rest offered to pay for my laser removal treatment. Now that I am all grown up, a tad wiser and more comfortable with myself- I know for certain that I can not and should not try to make everyone happy. So everyone can go to hell- I am very happy with the way I look now and definitely would not change it just for the sake of conforming to some skewed benchmark of good looks set by global fashion conglomerates that push forth starving, stick-thin, walking dead models as their epitome of beauty. My mole defines me. If A&F can’t see that, they can suck my balls, I am going home.

What do you think of women (or men) who lie about having had any cosmetic work done?

It is a pity that women have to conceal something that should not be of issue at all if our society was more rational and not so narrow-minded. I support women who told white lies about their cosmetic surgery out of fear for the social persecutions that they would have to deal with by telling the truth. On the other hands, my utmost respect goes out to women who dare stand by and defend their decision to undergo cosmetic surgery. All in all, what does it say of a culture where to be sincere and truthful has become the radical gesture?

Do you think society judges an individual who would like to or has had cosmetic work done?

Yes, simply because to a certain extent most people have inferiority complex issue and would not think twice to bring down other people just to make themselves feel better. There is as much shame in going for cosmetic surgery as there is in buying an ugly looking Louis Vuitton handbag that cost RM15,000 just so other people would think of you any differently.

Do you think cosmetic surgery is fast becoming a trend that is acceptable?

Society is constantly evolving and people’s mindset are becoming more open and thus accepting towards all things that used to be unorthodox. In time we would come to respect other people’s personal choice and mind our own business as long as their actions do not impede on our rights and personal freedom.

and we lived a thousand years all we have is now

I am obsessed with Greatness. Interpret me however you want- whether I am just another one of those men suffering from the usual bout of male inferiority complex issues or I could be genuinely pursuing that one defining moment of perfection in life. Perhaps in all likelihood, both perspectives are not mutually exclusive.I am a creature of Passion. If I relish the significance of pursuing an accomplishment, I would immerse 1500% of my entire life in capturing that just One moment of greatness in achieving what I had set my eyes upon. That is just life, is not it? All of us have only just that One sole moment when lifetime opportunity comes by-a-knocking, stands outside our doorstep briefly, taps her feet dap-a-tap-dap, before taking leave almost as soon as she arrives. Pretty much like that time in the club when you had your eyes on that hottie but hesitated in walking up to her ‘cos you were too chicken shit and when you finally had the guts to make an approach after downing that 18th tequilla shot, she had already left with a bad-shaped man. It was never because that ugly man was any better looking or anything better than you- it was because that fat bastard had the balls to walk up and just seize the moment with her.

So when opportunity comes, do we capture it or do we let it slip? I find it rather embarassing to draw inspiration from a very confused pasty white rapper who hates his mother, but yet do not deny that I get a kick whenever I listen to Eminem’s Lose Yourself.

Most of the time we live our lives complaining that we do not know what we are living for; not realizing that everyone of us already has a purpose in life that could be as great as saving the whole damn world Jesus style or a simplistic one that silently tugs at our heart strings. It would not be hard to recognize the purpose in life if everyone is a Larry Page/Sergei Brin or Mahatma Gandhi or Wong Kar-Wai. Those folks already have defined the sphere in which they would build their lives around. Page and Brin would save the world from evil with Google, Gandhi changed India and Wong would rewrite film history. It is those of us whose lives pale insignificantly in relative to theirs who will find it hard to recognize our purpose in life, or rather to be Willing to recognize that purpose. For what great glory is there in living a life dedicated to a mundane white-collared job, get married, reproduce, bring up our children, retire and die into oblivion?

Yeah, yeah, I made the assumption that everyone’s purpose in life is supposed to be destined for Greatness, or else it would not be valid. In the real world, if everyone’s destined for greatness- then the world would not need any changing, no? I get that. And I understand that the term ‘greatness’ has been used here rather indiscriminately, I debate for my university and am in no mood to define shit when I am talking to myself via me blog.

But more importantly, it is always the microcosmic parts of life that matters, aye? If it wasn’t because of my uneducated parents who led a pretty simplistic life- then I would not realize how much mediocrity sucked alot of hairy black balls and they would not have pushed me to always ace in academia because like all uneducated people, my parents were duped into believing that education is really the key to a good wonderful life ahead. At best, they were only half right. That is considering that I even get a little cubicle of my own and a pantry storage for my Wal-Mart coffee mug in the office.

The point is simply this; I have been searching high and low for my entire life for that One special purpose dedicated to immortalizing life that would consume my entire being so much so I would just lose myself in the madness of my pursuit. That in living my life for that purpose- Nothing else would matter. It is all about running with all my strength and heart towards the light at the end of the tunnel. A long, hard run that would take over my whole life and I would not have any doubt if I am wasting my time on running.

To some people, that purpose could be Jesus. I went down that path for 8 years and realized it was a dead end. I was only talking to myself all those times. To some people, it could be their family. I love my family but can’t live my life fulfilling their expectations all the damn time. I have stopped being a teenager 6 years ago. It could be living for a woman- but that is just silly ain’t it? Men are born to roam the earth. With a spear. Between their legs. It could be living your life to end world hunger and child labor. That sounds great and very honorable to me, but hey- the world still goes on and as far as I am concern it should go on as long as those damn Ethiopeans would trade food for guns to shoot their own brothers or GAP is selling cheap clothings sewn by malnourished Sri Lankan kids who or else would die of hunger if it was not for those kind Caucasian men who gave them money and jobs as part of their white men’s burden in return for exploiting their poor asses sewing tee shirts 18 hours a day.

For the record, I hate GAP.

To me, one’s highest purpose in life could be farming corn for all I care. But I would want my world to stop spinning in awesome admiration of my passion for farming corn. My defining life purpose would exclude all societal expecations. I want to live a life that is unpredictable. I despise establishments. I shudders at any attempt for conformity. I rejoice in breaking free. More than living, I want to Feel life. Every moment of it.

A friend of mine always remind me that we find greatest joy in the simplest things of life. A part of me scorned such trivilization of life, the other acknowledges the truth of that notion. Like how in the olden days people are happy with just having a pair of pants but everyone wants to own a pair of Diesel jeans now. If you burst out laughing at my comparison- of course I understand that you do not realized I was referring to the Italian design house that receives the honorable patronage of Kevin Federline. And we all know K-Fed is the mark of a true Man in fashion. Thank you.

I reserve my deepest, most profound respect to one of history’s greatest epical warrior- Alexander the Great (after K-Fed, of course). I draw inspiration from him (Alexander the Great). I never believed in insurmountable odds and whenever I am faced with circumstances as that, I’ll just remind myself that whatever I am facing pales in comparison to what Alexander went thru. So just shut the fuck up and Overcome it like a Man. And Alexander was just a man. He ain’t no Jesus with all those crazy God superpowers but he still conquer the whole Allah-damned world. If only K-Fed had lived in that era.

Now we all know Alexander the Great was really fuckin’ Great, rite? No point doubting a man whose name hints at such modesty. The question that begs to be answered, really is- If Alexander knew that there was a Greater man who could lead the Macedonians towards even greater glory,like imagine Genghis Khan was a homie of the same era- Would he step aside for Genghis’ ascension to lead his empire or would Alexander cut his throat while he was sleeping? I bet he would not sneak up to Genghis ‘cos Alexander’s a most honorable man but would he take on Genghis one-on-one style or would he get his whole army to fuck him up? I believe Alexander would challenge Genghis to an death duel and Win. I am pitching my money on Alexander ‘cos I have read an entire library of books on how bad ass of a fighter he was but none on Genghis, so I know nothing of his capability besides him kicking alot of asses back in the days and likes to ride a horse. How gay can you get?

How did Alexander always knew that he was the Greatest King of all Macedonia? Did he not feel doubt? Was he not merely a Man after all? Has he no fear of the unknown i.e. the future? If he was indeed the Greatest, there would then be an absence of a yardstick for him to measure himself against- what drives him then?

All great men are self-motivated.

I am a creature of Passion. Who succumbs easily to the temptation of conceited Pretensions.

How trite.

how strange, innocence

I love my blog. It affords me an absolute freedom of expression that I would not exercise under normal daily life circumstances as due to a perpetual heavy work stress condition that is only exacerbated by my perfectionist work ethics, I would normally be quite strung up and would not give two hoots about talking more than is necessary to get what I want out of people; let alone talking stupid about people, whom I also perceive to be stupid, in general.

But then again, I am the type who stereotype (that somehow sounded stupid). Anyone who doesn’t fall under my purview of fun- that is loosely characterized by an overkilling affinity towards substance abuse-induced stupidity, they would naturally fall into the category reserved for those lame shit type of people who are either too chicken shit or egoistic to make a fool out of themselves i.e. uninteresting people whom I would not want to waste my precious time that would be more productively spent on chatting up 15 year old girls online on a Friday nite.

The irony being I am surrounded on a daily basis by these sorta queer folks everywhere. That is the sad truth about local universities. It gives me the creeps that everyone behaves like they have been in-bred for the past 7 generations. They look the same (wear glasses, go everywhere in their over-sized tees and unkempt pimply-teenage-hobo-werewolf appearance); everyone can’t speak English to save their mother from being eaten alive by Hannibal Lecter (I know I come out with the most amazing analogies that makes little or no sense but nonetheless, very appropriate); still believes in the lie that their parents told them 15 years ago that if they keep up with their parrot-like behavior of scoring straight A’s in university by regurgitation in the absence of comprehension- in the end of the day it would mean that they are educated and formal education would make them the richest person on earth (I am educated, not because of the system but despite the system); and everyone wants to get married before they turn 25 for fear of some unknown fatal societal force of loneliness that is also known as being a virgin.

Bearing witness to good ole’ stupidity of youth seeping out of every corner of life creeps me out. What ever happened to “Hey, why don’t you live a’lil?” and by that I don’t mean let’s go play bowling or go for church group meetings, mind you.

And the worse thing is, unlike what most may unfoundedly think- this phenomenon of boredom enshrined does not occur just among the Non-English speaking students. The general elitist mentality among us English speakers in Malaysia is that somehow our shit does not stink compared to the rest who are more comfortable conversing in their Chinese mother tongues. That somehow, there is always a make-believe dichotomy between us and them that makes everything that we do or have to be better than whatever that is associated with Them. I say to hell with all these bullshit imaginary social demarcations that could only separate because someone is too dumb to see beyond lucid background and linguistic differences. English or Non-English speakers are all the same lot of idiots. If you are boring, you are inevitably still an idiot regardless if you watch your Southparks in English or Cantonese although I must say, the Canto version is pretty- imaginative. Just because one listens to Pharell instead of Jay Chou does not prove jack shit other than the former could be a western-culture-hegemony worshipping whore who had forgotten his roots.

Eric Cartman is Chinese, you stupid motherf*cker. According to MC Yan of the LMF.

English or no English, they are all a fuckin’ stupid and uninteresting lot. Everyone is too protected in our society. I have 23 year old friends in my faculty who would not ride the public bus alone for fear of abduction, rape and all the bad things that bad people do to TWENTY-THREE-YEAR-OLDS whenever they are alone in a bus. Jesus Titty-f*ckin’ Christ and these are the same stupid people who wanna get married and populate our already-sorry ass world with their stupid kids. Thank god Down-syndrome kids are infertile.

Take a little chance, would you all? Just alil. I mean, C’mon. We only live once. Why can’t I go thru one day when I don’t have to figure fun and most-likely-to-be-stupid shit to do to entertain my sanity ‘cos someone’s already doing it for me? Why can’t I go thru one day when someone just walks up to me and ask if I’d be interested in robbing a bank?

Kinda think of it- someone Did ask me that question previously. And he wasn’t under influence. He wasn’t joking either. In all honesty, if I didn’t have to answer to anyone at that particular time i.e. my parents are dead- I would agree to rob a bank. Not for the money, but just for the sake of robbing a bank. No reason. Not that I need the money for a life-saving surgery or I am gonna give my loot to the poor, hell no- the poor’s poor because they are too stupid to work their way out of poverty. We all know that Capitalism is a great incentive-based system. And according to history of everyone, Greed is a perfectly-acceptable incentive. The bottom line is- I would rob a bank just because I wanna. I mean how many of us could live to tell a story that could possibly make The Great Train Robbery look like amateur porno? I know who could- those dudes who got away laughing with that 50million bucks microchip heist. And I am cock-sure their folks are either dead, not talking to them or happily smoking an entire estate plantation of weed in some island off Bahamas.

Tyler Durden could not have said it better. Self improvement is masturbatory. Life has no meaning besides finding a meaning in making a meaning for others. We all live in a vicious cycle in a perpetual pursuit for happiness that either turn us to be really self-serving individuals or the rather morbidly self-centered ones who go around trying to make themselves feel better by justifying that they are not self-centered like the rest of the world, by attaining fulfilment out of making others happy, otherwise- they would not give a damn.

There is no meaning in life. We are all just circumstantial parts that keep a big machine moving; without some of which, the gears would still keep on moving possibly faster than before. So do not even pretend that anyone’s even greater than anyone else.

Since nothing ever matters, why can’t you all just live a’lil?